


I'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone

by Fearain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Jumpers, M/M, Sharing Clothes, calm, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23219998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearain/pseuds/Fearain
Summary: after prompt for writing comp on insta: remus walking across the hogwarts grounds to find sirius in one of his jumpers, Sirius notices him watching ---pure fluff with a teeny tiny mention of angst maybe- calming fic?
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 61





	I'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone

Inhale. Exhale.  
A rare moment of calm. Remus breathed in deeply, the fresh spring air and its warm wind wrapping him like a blanket as he walked down from Hogwarts castle to enjoy the sun at the shores of the great lake. James and Sirius were off to the Quidditch pitch to practise some feints and Peter was finishing a last minute essay so Remus had taken the time to just relax for the afternoon.

The whooshing sound of rustling new leaves dancing in the wind, his delicate senses picking up on all the tiny wildlife waking in the midday sun around him, still stiff from the winter some weeks past.

All his senses open and fully at one with nature, it didn't take him long to spot Sirius further off to the side. (What was he doing down here?) Sirius, laying in the tall, freshly green-d grass on his robe. Wearing one of Remus's jumpers.

He was far enough away to see him and not be seen, but even then Remus believed Sirius had to be able to hear his heart beating all the way up his throat.

The Marauders sharing clothes wasn't an usual occurrence in any way, really. Lost socks, a clean vest and let's not even start on the ties. But Remus's soft brown jumpers were _his_ , out of place in Sirius's darker wardrobe or on his shorter body. But it didn't look as unfitting as it should have. Especially with Sirius wearing it in a way that screamed, well, Sirius – the sleeves pushed up over his elbows unbuttoned shirt collar poking out. While hugging his knees. That, on the other hand, _was_ unusual. He wasn't one for openly displaying vulnerability outside their group or dorm.

Then, Remus caught the twitch of his ears and his nose with a change in the wind, just as he was about to settle against the tree he'd stopped next to. A twig crunched underneath his shoes.

Shit.

Sirius's head spun around and found Remus's wide eyes in an instant. “Moony?”

His voice was barely above a whisper, but Sirius knew his wolf ears would easily pick up his voice. Remus was trying to tell himself that there was no reason to feel like he's just been caught. He just came by the lake. And seeing Sirius drowning in his jumper wasn't doing _Things_ to him.

Remus had walked closer while lost in thoughts and Sirius was looking all the way up at him now. He could see the sadness in those stormy grey eyes.

“So...” He didn't really know how to go from here.

“So what?” Apparently, Sirius didn't either.

“... my jumper?”

He'd seen the girls do it with their boyfriends' clothes. He knew the implications. He didn't dare to hope. All the sharing of vests, ties – all of those were interchangeable. Uniform. This, this was personal. A piece of Remus. And Sirius wanted to carry it and keep it around and most importantly – keep it safe.

Sirius's eyes flickered across his face and he seemed to find what he had been looking for, going for a small smile. “Yeah? It's comfy.” To prove his point, he let his sleeves slip down to his hands and pat the spot next to him with his sweaterpaws. Remus sat down. “More comfy than my 'proper' and fitted stuff anyway. Also says you, creeping about...” His raised eyebrows get Remus to smile properly.

His question is still asked carefully. “Why though? What happened?” Because something had to have happened. This wasn't the usual lively, brash version of Sirius. He could feel the boy next to him sinking in on himself with a sigh, hugging his knees tightly.

“I ran into Reg and I.. we said some _things_ and-” he couldn't bring himself to finish but Remus was already nodding. Of course he knew. Knew them, knew Sirius. “And James wanted me to go flying with him but I couldn't...” He drew in a sharp breath; stopping to not talk himself into something – Remus knew the signs of panic and anxiety induced attacks all too well. “I couldn't think and needed to get out and get away and now I'm here and-” Another pause for a breath. “Your jumper it's just – this sounds weird, I know but-”

“It doesn't,” Remus interrupted, startling Sirius a little.

He paused, cocking his head to the side, Padfoot shining through. “You didn't even know what I was going to say.”

The comfort of trusted, familiar smells. For Remus, that was the old dusty scent of the library, the fire in the Gryffindor common room, chocolate, _Sirius_. His hands trembled and he quickly leaned on them as fists at his sides. All that he said out loud though was small “Hm.” He shrugged.

“...anyway... your jumper, your smell, it just helped me calm down?” Sirius's voice went up at the end, as if he was waiting for a bad reaction, but non came.

There were a lot things racing through Remus's mind at that moment, most of them dangerous to linger on, but he tried to chose the one thing that would hopefully make Sirius smile again. No more second thoughts or dark thoughts on this beautiful day, he decided, unclenching his hands and throwing a smile over his shoulder. “Yes, yes, the smells. Perks of the enhanced senses, eh?”

Sirius's nose scrunched up and he couldn't help his grin. “Yeah, I guess.” He leaned a bit closer to Remus; relaxing back on his hands with a happy sigh and Remus could see the tension leave his body together with the air. “Thank you,” he added softly.

“So.. I never wanna hear anything ever again when I'm complaining about bad smells.” Remus broke the tension in the air again and Sirius laughed in earnest now. “Nor any inappropriate reaction to the good ones.”

“Wouldn't dream of it.”

“Sure.”

They both broke into laugher, filling the clear spring air with the sound of their happiness and after; their content calm, not needing words to ground each other.


End file.
